I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
