If i come over, it means nothing
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
