I hope mine doesn't look like that
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
