Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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