just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
