hotel room ftw
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
