why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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