PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
