I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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