its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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