Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
