??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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