u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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