I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
