A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Randomize
