We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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