is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
