Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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