She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Me too!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
