oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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