If i come over, it means nothing
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
