Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
