its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize