who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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