Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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