Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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