Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
