remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize