I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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