She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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