i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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