I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
