Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
