I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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