Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
