ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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