8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize