This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
