im drinking this country out of the recession.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
