Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
barbara walters just said penis...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
