Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
