your thong is hanging out like whoa
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
