There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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