yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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