I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
