I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
