he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
