when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
