we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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