Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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