You work out of a Hotel?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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