I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
