Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
