he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
