Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just want nice things and good sex
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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