I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I am one with the molecules
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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