some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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