I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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