I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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