I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
