we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
