We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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