I got chris browned last night
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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