your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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