Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I don't think brook has ever known best
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
