i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
