I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
